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There he stood in the foyer of The Earl, scanning the room with his debonair stare. Posing, long flowing hair and a Jesus face wearing a white belt. I see you. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him. I’m going to talk to him, someone with a white belt has something to say– but I couldn’t. Reconnaissance time. Who’s the Asian chick? Girlfriend, possibly? Good sign: he likes brown girls- at least there’s a chance.

I was there to see the Diamond Rugs, a highly recommended band from Nashville; a menagerie of characters.

Two whiskey’s down and straight to the front of the stage. There he was, purple lit and statuesque, clenching trombone. My Jesus lover with a 70′s swag is part of the band? I was captivated by this character who barely played but stood there like a mascot with that Fabio stare to the horizon. Meanwhile the others rocked the stage, tongue kissed a stage jumper, lit cigarettes mid song and shared beers with the audience.

Who is this man that can steal the show with no words and barely any effort?!! I ran home to do some more recon not knowing what the future had in store. I typed “trombone player for TV and the Radio” into the Google machine and Voila, Smoota! David Smoota Smith to be exact, a Film & Lit graduate from Harvard.

Oh my good gracious me. He was more of a character than I imagined. His profile banner on Defendmusic.com was a slightly provocative and insanely hilarious picture of him laying on his side in a white suit, again 70′s style.. I’m starting to see a trend. See for yourself!

As I read on on I was intrigued by this unicorn of a man. So sexual, erotic and smooth. I played his track “Pink bra playing guitar” to find myself rolling in laughter. Is this for real?! Did he just say “she is so delicious she should be my mistress”. It wasn’t until I found myself twerking my hips to his groovy sex music that I realized this boy’s got soul and I’m definitely in love.

Let’s put it this way… If I owned a condom company I’d want him as my spokesperson.

If I knew then what I know now about the man in the white belt, I would’ve never hesitated to talk to him. He probably would’ve been open to conversations and relations with me AND the Asian chick.

I leave you with a video that I believe captures his man-sensual essence.

Enjoy responsibly. Yes, that’s right. Smoota. S&M, O, O, T&A.

"Next up was Smoota. Ohhhh where to begin.... The lyrics are just as ridiculous as they are catchy, yet almost poetic in a way with repeating hooks and melodies. You only need hear their songs once and you will know all the words, hence why half of the crowd was singing along. I definitely foresee this act becoming bigger, more theatrical, and vulgar as time goes on. Smith opened up his act last night...wearing a straight up 70′s style brown suit with an orange ruffled shirt...groaning “Pink Braaaaa Playing Guitarrrrrr” - A song about a hot, blonde, sweaty, guitar player smoking a cig. Each song is so sexy (instrumentals), yet weird (lyrics) at the same time…you almost feel wrong for digging it so much. I guess that’s the attraction."

"About 100 people crowded the back room of Union Pool last night for the debut of Smoota, but I imagine that years from now many more will claim to have attended. Smoota is the alter-ego of local semi-legend Dave Smith, a much in-demand trombonist.... Alone in his bedroom, Smith (Smoota) recorded “Fetishes,” a suite of raunchy, unironic, unapologetic songs about sex and idiosyncratic desire. Last night, Smoota finally went public, backed by a trio; Kevin Blackler (keys), Mike MiWi Williams (bass) and Evan Howard (electro drums) successfully breathed new life into Smoota’s tuneful dirty psychedelic soul....

"Ever been to a band’s first show where half the audience could already sing along with the lyrics? That happened at Smoota. It started with the incantatory, repetitive opening to “Pink Bra” and continued through the night’s finale, “These Are the Things (That Fuel My Desires)” – a musical litany that celebrates surgical scars and lovers who leave the bathroom door open while sitting on the can, among other fetishes.

"The crowd’s early familiarity with Smoota’s tunes serves as testament to the grip he already has on his audience. Other testament comes in the form of my friend’s parting words as Smoota closed out the set. 'G’night' she said to me, jerking a thumb toward her husband, 'We gotta go have sex.'"